π Autism Therapy & Support π
π Ethics Matter π
At Neurodivergent Friendsβ’, we believe that therapy should support autistic individuals, not change who they are.
Too often, autism therapy is about compliance over well-being and normalization over support. Therapy should never seek to "fix" or "cure" autismβit should focus on helping autistic people navigate a world that isnβt built for them.
π¨ The Problem: Limited Therapy Options π¨
One of the biggest challenges in autism advocacy is the lack of adequate support services.
β οΈ Many families can access 20+ hours of ABA per week but only 1-2 hours of Occupational Therapy (OT), Speech Therapy (ST), or Mental Health Therapy, if any at all.
β οΈ Because ABA is often the only covered service, many families feel forced into it, even if it isnβt the right fit.
β οΈ This imbalance means that autistic people arenβt getting the services that actually improve their quality of life, like communication support, sensory accommodations, or mental health care.
π Therapy should never be about forcing autistic people to act neurotypical; it should be about reducing distress and building autonomy.
π What Ethical Therapy Looks Like π
β Supports self-advocacy β Learning how to express needs, set boundaries, and navigate social situations on their own terms.
β Reduces distress, not identity β Helping with sensory overwhelm, anxiety, and difficulties responding in emergencies without suppressing autistic traits like stimming, direct communication, or enthusiasm for special interests.
β Focuses on real-world skills β Helping autistic individuals gain independence without forcing conformity.
β Respects communication differences β Supporting non-speaking autistic individuals by respecting alternative communication methods (AAC, typing, ASL, or gestures).
β Encourages consent and autonomy β Therapy should always respect personal agency and never force interactions that cause harm or discomfort.
π¨ If therapyβs goal is to "normalize" behavior rather than help autistic people thrive, it is not ethical.
β The Problem With ABA β
Itβs Not Just the Therapy, Itβs How Itβs Done
Applied Behavior Analysis (ABA) varies widely in practice. Some providers use a compliance-based model that forces autistic children to suppress their natural behaviors, while others take a more individualized, skills-based approach.
π The issue with ABA isnβt just that it existsβitβs that many providers still practice it in a way that prioritizes:
β οΈ Compliance over comfort β Teaching autistic kids to "sit still," "make eye contact," or "stop stimming"instead of helping them learn in ways that work for them.
β οΈ Masking over communication β Encouraging autistic kids to "act normal" instead of helping them express themselves authentically.
β οΈ Obedience over autonomy β Training kids to follow directions without question instead of teaching them how to say no.
Some providers do ABA ethically, focusing on self-advocacy and distress reduction. But the field still includes many outdated, harmful practices.
β How to Spot Harmful Therapy Practices β
π« Forces eye contact β Many autistic people find eye contact uncomfortable or even painful. Forcing eye contact does not improve communication.
π« Discourages stimming β Stimming is a natural way for autistic people to self-regulate. Suppressing it can increase anxiety and distress.
π« Uses punishment or "planned ignoring" β Ignoring a distressed autistic child instead of helping them regulate is harmful.
π« Prioritizes neurotypical behavior over well-being β Therapy should help autistic individuals navigate the world as themselves, not force them to behave in ways that make others comfortable.
π« Teaches compliance over consent β Autistic people are more vulnerable to abuse and exploitation if they are trained to follow instructions without question.
π« Relies on rewards & punishments for communication β No one should have to "earn" their right to communicate or have their needs met.
π« Dismisses concerns from parents or autistic individuals β If a provider refuses to adapt or ignores feedback, they are not providing ethical therapy.
π« Uses outdated compliance-based techniques β Therapy should help the autistic individual, not make them more convenient for others.
π¨ Therapy should build confidence, not break it. If a child dreads going to therapy, it is not helping them.
π¨ If therapy teaches an autistic child that their natural behaviors are "wrong," that therapy is harmful.
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What to Look For in an Ethical Provider β
π They focus on the autistic personβs well-being, not just behaviors.
π They encourage self-advocacy, not just compliance.
π They do not punish or discourage harmless autistic behaviors.
π They respect alternative communication methods, including AAC, ASL, and nonverbal expression.
π They listen to autistic adults and adjust their approach based on lived experience.
π Allows open observation β A good provider will welcome parents or self-advocates sitting in on sessions.
π Explains all methods & goals clearly β If a provider cannot explain why they do something in clear, understandable terms, thatβs a red flag.
π Respects the individualβs autonomy β Therapy should support natural communication and self-advocacy instead of teaching compliance.
π¨ Therapy should empower, not erase. If a provider forces compliance, ignores distress, or discourages autonomy, their approach is outdated and harmful.
π¨ Trust Your Instincts: Warning Signs in Therapy π¨
π Parents and self-advocates should listen to their inner voice. If something doesn't feel right, it probably isnβt.
β οΈ Signs that something may be wrong:
Your child cries on the way to therapy or becomes fearful of situations they previously handled well.
They show new anxieties or regressions that werenβt present before starting therapy.
The provider avoids answering direct questions or becomes defensive when asked about methods used in sessions.
You are not allowed to observe therapy sessions or meet the RBT working with your child.
You are told that "this is just how it's done" instead of getting an explanation about why a technique is used.
π¨ If a provider is evasive, wonβt answer questions, or refuses to let you observe therapyβRUN.
π Trust your instincts. If something feels wrong, it probably is.
π΄ What Families Can Do Instead π΄
β€οΈ Push for more therapy options β Advocate for increased coverage of OT, Speech Therapy, and Mental Health Therapy so families arenβt forced into ABA by default.
π Choose therapy providers carefully β Look for those who respect autistic identity and autonomy.
π Listen to autistic voices β Autistic individuals have the best insight into what support is actually helpful.
π¨ Autistic people donβt need to be trained to act neurotypical. They need support to navigate the world in ways that work for them.
π¨ Autism Therapy Should Be About Support π¨
Not Compliance
Therapy should never make an autistic person feel like who they are is wrong.
At Neurodivergent Friendsβ’, we support:
β
Therapies that respect autonomy
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Therapies that reduce distress, not identity
β
Therapies that focus on communication and real-world skills
We reject:
π« Therapies that force masking
π« Therapies that punish autistic behaviors
π« Therapies that prioritize neurotypical comfort over autistic well-being
π Therapy Should Help, Not Harm π
β€οΈ Autistic people deserve support, not compliance training.
π Choose ethical providers.
π Choose affirming therapy.
π¨ Choose respect.